I wrote about my journey with infertility in Post #4, and I mentioned that my husband and I made the decision in late 2024 to try to grow our family using embryo adoption. This decision was one born of great prayer and research.
We are Roman Catholic, and our faith teaches that all children deserve to be conceived in the loving, natural act between two married people who are open to that child’s conception. There are so many implications to this teaching, but one is that the Catholic Church does not support In Vitro Fertilization. Sean and I both knew that we both wanted to follow the Church’s guidance on this matter, so we turned our attention to researching adoption as the way for us to grow our family.
In my undergraduate studies at Villanova University, (where Pope Leo also attended college, my ultimate flex!) I wrote a paper in an ethics class about snowflake adoption. This process is, very simply put, adopting an already conceived embryo. The Catholic Church does not have an official teaching on embryo adoption, and in my paper I argued that the Catholics should feel comfortable choosing to adopt embryos.
Fast forward over a decade; Sean and I are discussing adopting a baby, and I mention embryo adoption. Many people have never heard of this option. According to the National Embryo Donation Center, there are an estimated 1.5 million surplus embryos currently frozen in the United States. These are embryos of families who have grown their families using In Vitro Fertilization, and now they have surplus embryos that do not intend to use. All of these embryos are sitting in freezers in what I have begun to call a state of limbo.
The Catholic Church teaches that life begins at conception, so according to Catholics, this means these 1.5 million embryos are living babies stuck in freezers. The National Embryo Donation Center and other nonprofits like them provide an opportunity for these babies to experience life outside of the freezer. The nonprofits match embryos with families who are willing to adopt them. The matching process is pretty extensive. Our family had to undergo a home study with a social worker, several medical tests to ensure there is nothing physically prohibiting me physically carrying an adopted embryo, and then we had to have mediation between our adopted embryos’ family and ourselves to nail down the terms of the adoption. All of these steps cost quite a bit, as well.
Sean and I decided to try adopting this way for multiple reasons. The first is that I believe it is an act of mercy to release these babies from their current frozen state and give them an opportunity at life. Second, this process allows me to carry and nurse our children which has so many positive factors for the babies physically and psychologically.
However, this process has been hard for Sean and me. We have had close friends who have not been supportive. I have second guessed myself multiple times and had to really lean into my faith that I am hearing the voice of the Lord clearly that our family is being called to adopt the embryos we have selected.
We signed and notarized our adoption agreement on June 26, 2026. With these forms, we took possession of eleven embryos. They are all from the same donor couple who froze them on June 7, 201o and donated them to the National Embryo Donation Center on October 4, 2019. We chose an open donation, and the donor couple has a son who they want to meet his siblings someday!
On August 28, 2025, we will transfer two or three of our embryos (depending on how well they defrost). If any of the embryos are completely dead upon defrosting, the National Embryo Donation Center sends them off to be cremated and laid to rest. However, even if they are only 1 % viable, they will transfer them because we believe that they are a person and deserve a chance at life. Each embryo has an approximately 50 % chance of surviving the transfer. I will take a pregnancy test a little over a week after to transfer to see if any of our embryos survived.
I am excited to start this journey of growing our family, and I want to share about it so that others will hopefully choose to give these babies an opportunity at life as well! Please pray for us as we prepare for and undergo our first transfer. If you have any questions, please send them to me at elisabeth@mission-today.com.
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