I had originally scheduled my ultrasound for Thursday, September 25th. However, I was starting to feel anxious. I called my OB’s nurse, and she was not helpful. I decided to call Dr. Plessala’s office, and they were amazing. They told me they could get me in the next day for an ultrasound no problem.
Sean couldn’t get off work on such short notice, so I headed there myself. I was very aware that statistically all of our embryos probably did not survive. I also knew that I was only six weeks that day, so I might not be able to see a heartbeat.
The ultrasound tech was amazing. As soon as we started, it seemed pretty obvious to me that there was only one baby. She said the baby is measuring great, and I even got to hear a heartbeat which was really cool.
As soon as I got to my car, I fell apart. I was honestly shocked by my grief. I thought I had prepared myself for the likelihood that all of them would not be there, but my heart had not listened at all.
I had to teach, so I headed to the college. I am so lucky to have amazing coworkers who flocked around me and helped me pull myself together.
So, I am six weeks pregnant with one baby. We now have two tiny saints in Heaven. Their names are Patricia Simon and Finnian Rose, and they are interceding for us and their baby sibling. I am so deeply grateful for my faith right now and the witness of my friends and family who have experienced miscarriage before me. Unfortunately, there are quite a few of those women.
I am deeply sad that I will not be able to deliver and raise Patricia and Finnian, but I know that they are safe in the arms of Mary and Jesus in Heaven. I am so grateful that the doctor transferred three, and that they are no longer trapped inside a freezer.
Please continue to pray for our family. Pray for our remaining little one to grow and thrive. Pray for us to adjust to the new normal of having lost two babies. Pray also for all women who have lost children. It is a profoundly broken world that we live in where something that should never happen does happen so often.
Saint Patricia Simon and Saint Finnian Rose, pray for us!
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