I get very overwhelmed very easily. I’m sure one reason for this is my Bipolar Disorder (read more in Post #7). Another reason is that I struggle with people pleasing. All of that being said, one thing that helps with the overwhelm is that I try to live by the principle “Decide What Matters Most.” Asking myself what matters can be a debilitating question, especially when I am already feeling anxious. Everything feels like it matters. Simply rephrasing the question from, “What matters?” to, “What matters most?” can make a huge difference.
It has taken me time to get comfortable answering this question, though. It feels wrong to me to pick only one priority. My faith, my husband, my siblings, my vocation of teaching, my journey to becoming a parent – they are all important to me.
However, if I am being honest with myself, I know that if I try to put everything first, my focus will be so divided that none of them will actually get the attention they deserve. By deciding what is most important in a given season, I am able to give myself permission to devote my time and energy to that thing instead of juggling between all the things. Jesus addresses this general concept in Matthew 6:24:
Matthew 6 is specifically talking about the temptations of wealth, but I think it is incredibly apt when thinking about all the things we prioritize in our life.
Greg McKeown mentions in his book Essentialism that the word “priority” was not seen as a plural noun until more recently in history; it appeared only as a singular noun for most of history. I don’t know if this is true, but it does highlight an important reality: you cannot have more than one most important thing. You can try, but the likely outcome is that everything will suffer.
I look at picking what matters most as an exercise in prioritization. As someone who hopes to have a flourishing marriage and career while also raising children, I appreciate that this is a struggle for many women. Lisa Woodruff of Organize 365 talks about how priorities can change with seasons. If you’ve read my Post #5 on Seasonal Living, you know that I am a big fan of this approach to life. She assures parents that their children do not need to be their main priority all year long, year after year. It is okay to focus on your kids primarily for a few months and then shift your priorities to your work for the next few months. Lisa says she always made her kids her main priority during the summer months. The rest of the time, your kids are still very important, but your main energy is going toward accomplishing a dream or completing a project – just for a season. I think this is a pretty radical idea in today’s world where parents seem to be expected to put everything on hold for their children.
There are many ways to get clear on what matters most. Lisa actually sets her priorities for her personal life in four month chunks and for her business life quarterly (in three month chunks.) As I mentioned in Post #6, I set annual goals. These goals are organized by priority. This year my top priority was continuing my morning prayer routine which I talk more about in Post #9. This is going very well. I choose a goal that I want to prioritize on a monthly basis because if I try to work on one thing for too long, I run out of steam. This month, I am working on my one of my two health goals: fueling my body well. Sometimes I decide to continue a priority into the next month, but that is only after sitting down to think about it. Trying different systems can help you figure out how long your personality can reasonably concentrate on one priority. Additionally, I set a main priority for each day and each week. These often, but not always, line up with my main priority for the month.
When looking at my entire life, attempt to live my life in a way that prioritizes God. However, sometimes, when I take an honest look at my life, I have to admit that it does not reflect God being most important. The choices I make with my time, talent, and treasure indicate that other things (sometimes very good thing) have taken the place of God in my life.
When this happens, I recognize that I have violated the first commandment; I have set up an idol of something other than God. I repent and try to realign all the things – to put them back into their rightful place in relation to my most important priority.
There are certainly other things that are very important to me, but all of them fall below God on the list of priorities. Many of them, however, are a means through which I know and serve God. My relationship with my husband and my service to my community are just two examples. I pray that my role as a mother will also be a way I serve God. These things are means to the end of knowing, loving, and serving God. All things in this life are meant to be means to that end.
For this blog, I went through the process of decide what mattered most. I decided that what is most important to me, in this season, is that I spend time writing each day about my journey. I want to form a habit of writing. At the end of the year, I will reassess. What is not important to me is posting a certain number of time, getting many viewers, or commenting on the trending topics of the day.
This process of identifying what matters may seem like work, but it allows me to make progress on things that mean the most to me and cut out the distractions. It also comes pretty naturally to me now. There are times when I feel overwhelmed and forget this practice, but my family and friends are great at kindly redirecting me back to this thought process. It is simply the way I approach planning my time and my projects. Maybe one or two of the ideas will work for you!
Mission Today 